What does the Bible say about divorce? You would be surprised at how often this question comes up in churches, in Christian counseling sessions and on Christian radio programs across the United States. There are millions of Christians in the U.S. alone who have either been through a divorce or who are in failing marriages where divorce is being looked at as an option. Sadly, the divorce rate in most Christian denominations is about the same as it is in the rest of society. In today's world, divorce is often viewed as an easy way to get out of a bad situation. But is it appropriate for Christians to divorce? If so, under what circumstances? What does the Bible have to say?
Well, the truth is that the Scriptures are very clear about how God feels about divorce. In fact, in Malachi 2:16 God tells us that He hates divorce....
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel
But God also knows that man is sinful and that this is an imperfect world. He knows that husbands and wives are going to cheat. In Matthew 19:3-9, Jesus explained to the Pharisees why some divorces were allowed under the Law of Moses and under what circumstances divorces are permissible for Christians....
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
In the above passage we see that Jesus does allow for divorce in the case of marital unfaithfulness. If a husband or a wife commits adultery with someone else, then the other partner can opt for divorce. We also see this principle reflected in what Jesus had to say in Matthew 5:32....
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
So are there any other circumstances in which Christians can get divorced without sinning? Well, in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 the apostle Paul instructs believers that if they have a non-Christian husband or wife, they must stay with that husband or wife if they wish to stay. However, if that non-Christian husband or wife wants to leave, the Christian spouse is supposed to allow the non-Christian spouse to leave....
If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Please note that the passage above gives the non-Christian spouse the option of whether or not to leave. The Christian spouse must stay married to the non-Christian spouse if the non-Christian spouse wishes to stay.
While the rules for divorce that the Bible sets forth may seem harsh to some, the truth is that God considers a married couple to be "one flesh". He never intends for them to split up. The way that many couples divorce and remarry so casually today is an abomination to God.
But it is important to note that at times it may be appropriate for Christian couples to separate (though not divorce) if the circumstances call for it so that problems can be worked out at a safe distance. In extreme circumstances a separation may need to extend over a long period of time. However, Christians should not get divorced unless they are in a marriage which fits the specific situations discussed above.
While this may come as extremely disappointing news to those stuck in incredibly unhappy marriages, the truth is that God's ways are higher than our ways. He knows what is best. He wants us to work our marriages out.
The United States is filled with millions of men, women and children who have had their lives devastated by "easy" divorces. The institution of the family is being destroyed in modern society and it seems like families are generally less happy than they used to be.
If people would just obey God's laws and follow His design for marriage and the family things would work out so much better for them. God knows what is best, and when we follow His plan we will truly have the best chance to be blessed.
I have been with my husband for the past 15 years and 1 year ago we became Christians. It has been confusing becuase both of us were previously married to other peoples. Now we do not know if our marriage is wrong or right in the eyes of the LORD. We have tried not having relations, but that is not working. I know that both of us were not faithful to our previous spouses. Our pastor always has message about adulters (person in second marriages) not being able to enter the kingdom of God. I just pray that the Lord have mercy on us and help us through this. we still have two younger children at home to raise.
Maria:
You can’t go back and change the fact that you got married.
Now that you are married, you both should be fulfilling your marital duties to each other and trying to make your marriage work the best that you can.
Maria:
As long as you are faithful to your existing marriage vows since you became christian, then the Lord will be in your marriage. Anybody who tells you otherwise is using an extremely narrow view of the bible and you should leave that church.
Even if you had cheated since becomming Christian, Jesus will forgive that sin and make you whole if you forsake the cheating. A church that doesn’t accept the forgiveness of Jesus is not a place where you are going to be at peace. In addition, there are many Christian churches founded in biblical teaching where you can find a home and be at peace.
I am glad this site can be a refuge of information for anyone who finds their marriage in trouble.
I came across some spectacular information that I want to share, since many people come here for answers.
In the last month we have stumbled upon several videos with authors speaking about the power of blessing. BECAUSE we were astounded seeing one show after another, we decided to give it a shot, and I have to say I have NEVER seen more ANSWERS to prayer than ever in our lives.
The First Video we watched was Kerry Kirkwood on Sid Roth. He explained that asking through prayer in Yeshuas (Jesus’s) name to bless someone is basically asking for Gods perfect will to be played out in their lives.
So what does God want out of a believer? We know Galatians 5:22-23 the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. So we should excel in all areas.
In otherwords if you are a Christian, fruit should show in your life.
When we ask God to Bless someone, we are asking Gods perfect desire to come forth in that persons life.
Though we have learned through these teachings that we can ask God to bless our employeers, our neighbours, our bodies, specific body parts. I am sure many people who have cancer, can ask God to bless that region of their body.
Like I said, we have never seen more answers to prayer than this.
Ask God to BLESS your significant other. Bless them in the morning, and before you go to bed, and through the day time, and see what happens.
If your husband or wife has done you wrong, BLESS them anyhow! Bless them, and Let God handle all the work that needs to be done in their life.
Ask God to Bless your own life! God wants the very best for his children.
Below are some of the videos we have collected on the subject.
Kerry Kirkwood with Sid Roth – The Power of Blessing
http://youtu.be/_AFfLtUk5T8
Since Michael and I have started asking GOD to bless particular people, we have seen so many answers to prayer.
It is amazing!!! Unemployed people who write into his blog, we pray that God would BLESS them, and they report back saying they have jobs!
Bill Ligon with Sid Roth – Imparting Blessing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2335TH666l8
Cindy Trimm with Sid Roth – Command Your Morning
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjxGcPxGi9A
Have you ever heard the phrase, “what you don’t know won’t hurt you” WELL, here Cindy tells us what we don’t KNOW WILL hurt us!
THE words we speak are put into play. WHAT are we saying?
Are we cursing ourselves?
She tells of a situation where a man said that he would give his arm and leg to see a cure for his daughter’s health problems. He got into an accident months or years ?? down the road and lost his arm and leg, and 6 months later, they found a cure for his daughter.
If you have a sore back, ask GOD to BLESS your back.
If you are having troubles with something, ASK the almighty to BLESS it!
The most important thing to know from this video is we can ask GOD to reverse these curses we have brought on ourselves, simply by asking him.
Listen to this testimony, and ask God to BLESS you, your business, your employer, your family and your friends, and your spouse, AND SEE What the ALMIGHY can do!
Though yes, the sin was committed, Our God is a forgiving God and when forgiveness is asked of the Lord and the sin is no longer being committed, know you are forgiven
You are under Gods Amazing grace!
I am so unhappy in my marriage. we’re going to try seperation. I’m a strong believer in the Bible and he’s not. I want to be healthy and follow through with it he distracts me and wants to do what he wants to. He loves money and power and I’m not for that. we are just not happy. I’ve actually checked out my marriage, I’m just not happy.
Katherine:
Good for you for trying a separation first rather than heading straight for divorce.
In the Scriptures it tells us that we are to allow the unbelieving spouse to stay if they want to stay in the marriage.
Does your husband still want to be in the marriage or does he want to end it?
Michael